A friend once told me, “If you are going to beat yourself up, use a cotton tip.”
Have you ever lectured yourself?
You should have done this.
You know better!
You should have known better.
Or, yikes.
You are so stupid!
When I speak these words in haste, another friend reminds me, “You wouldn’t talk to a friend that way. What would you say to a friend?”
Have you found yourself thinking or saying thoughts like this over yourself?
If you do not talk to yourself this way please leave a comment sharing how or why you are kind to yourself. I would love to know your tips!
Love your neighbor as yourself. Mark 12:31
How do you love yourself?
Let’s observe one important thing that will unravel this mystery.
People fail at loving themselves.
To dismiss this idea, I have heard the reasoning, we are supposed to put ourselves last.
And we are to do that.
But that does not answer the question.
If we love ourselves, why are we so darn mean to ourselves when we make mistakes.
Is our love of self:
Conceit
Pride
Arrogance
If it were, how could we love our neighbor with it?
Let’s look to the scripture directly above, Jesus, teaching us to love our neighbors.
This is the heart of it.
Jesus says in verse 30, …you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
We are to be busy loving God with all the power we can muster.
There was a statement I came across in my early 20s. I don’t know who wrote it, but it said, “When I am self-abusing at least I am getting attention.”
Does that make you giggle? A little? I hope so. When we have our attention righted, our heart, mind, soul, and strength are rightly used.
Lord,
I am sorry I have chosen self-focus rather than thinking about you. Thank you for showing me my error.
You created every part of me. [Psalm 139] You know every day of my life before I was born. Your love is all-encompassing. Thank you for loving me, completely. I love you. Help me to love you more.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
P.S. I apologize for my post being late today. Learning to trust God for the message and not beating myself up! Oh, how I stumble over myself! May it be sweeter for the waiting!
“Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
Very good article Michele. It is very hard not to beat yourself up that is for sure. Maybe in part is a way of trying to identify your faults so you can try to improve on them.
Great point. We all learn from mistakes. How can I do x-y-z differently next time for a better outcome? Being mean to ourselves is not reflective of being a creation of God, who is love.